by Gary Underwood (Jan 28, 2026)
Recently, during a lunch with a Pastor friend I’m connecting regularly, I asked him what things HE would like to discuss every now and then when we talk (I mean, besides Mexican food, club sports, and whatever else).
I thought he might want to talk about some of our local pastor events, friendships, or community projects. Maybe he would ask for regular accountability, personal encouragement, or insight about how to set healthy rhythms as a pastor. If he had said, “I am just glad you pursue connections with me and treat me like an actual human guy instead of some super-pastor,” it would not have surprised me.
But this pastor’s “actual human guy” response caught me somewhat off guard.
My friend ignored his burrito, leaned in, smiled, and said, “Gary, I just appreciate hearing whatever’s on your heart. That’s what I’d like to talk about whenever we get together.”
I mean, he knows that I love connecting with, listening to, and encouraging a lot of pastors in a variety of churches in our county.
He knows that I’ve got more time to focus on local ministry initiatives, urgent needs, and timely resources that could perhaps help him, his family, and his church in some way.
He knows that I launched a ministry (LovePastors), backed by a tremendous group of veteran pastors, ministry mentors, influential Christian leaders, and a “Board of Directors” that anyone would love to have.
But he just wants to hear what’s on my heart.
In pastor mode, I could go to all the cautions about guarding my heart, the deceit of the heart, the overflow of the heart, and the mysteries of understanding one’s own heart. In servant mode, I could convince myself that my heart doesn’t really matter and that we need to focus on “getting stuff done” and “kingdom impact” and “transforming whole communities for Jesus.” In image-protection mode, I could simply focus on the version and heart-level thoughts that I want pastors – and anyone else – to see.
But this actual human guy pastor actually meant it – “What is on your heart, Gary?“
Friends and conversations like this are healthy. Who are your heart-level friends?
Pastors, who leans in and asks you direct questions? Who reminds you to guard your own heart? Who checks in? Who can see if you “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and….”
Whatever’s going on in a Pastor’s heart... well, it matters way more than numbers, screens, or plans. It matters more than what others think of you or how your “church friends” treat you. It matters and deserves our full attention, love, concern, and joy.
My answer for my friend? What’s on my heart?
It’s the reality that God has called and equipped and burdened me to love pastors and care for their hearts too.
It’s the team that He’s bringing together to give life to the life-givers.
It’s the experience of so many lunches with pastor friends who are asking people how their hearts are doing, while struggling with their own heart’s direction, brokenness, pressures, anxieties, dreams, concerns, and hopes.
My friends knows I love him and am praying and here to support his heart however I can.
He’s on my heart, along with his family, his congregation, his staff, his mission, and his health (not in that order).
